we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
