im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so explain again why im purple
no
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
