The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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