whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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