So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
