pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize