it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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