I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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