porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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