just come out here and I will go home with you...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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