Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
