i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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