that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
