My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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