i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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