So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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