I am full of burrito and curiosity
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
