have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
