I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
