I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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