the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
tell me about the eggs
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
