Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
