...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
