I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize