he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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