You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I could make wine with my vomit
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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