My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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