she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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