Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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