who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
