woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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