after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
