Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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