If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
