I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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