I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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