I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
