I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
