So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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