Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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