rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
