i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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