You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
