we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
