dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
