dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
