Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
