hotel room ftw
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
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