I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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