Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
