Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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