he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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