so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize