walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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