you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
