He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
