I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
