How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
A+ Viking dick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
